Best dumbass ideas for Valentines Day

-By Alison Leighshit-bitch-you-is-fine

Are you in lurrrrve? Well good for you! Are you sad and not in love? Join the club haha… Here’s some silly ideas to profess your love for someone on this day of days. See if any strike your fancy!

Take your love partner on a moonlit picnic- bring a blanket (something cute and soft), something to imbibe, and some finger food. Find a cool spot and picnic it up! Just don’t litter pleeeease…

moonlit picnic

Throw an Anti-Valentines’ Day party! These can be so fun! Make up games and prizes and play a bunch of music that isn’t love songs. Everyone will be laughing and having a grand time! No couples allowed! I threw one once and made anyone who was in a happy relationship wear a dunce hat haha.. it was hilarious.


Go on an awesome drive to places you that have meaning to you as a couple or individual- old houses, the street where you had a midnight kiss, or any nice country drive.


Go to the beach and have dinner somewhere or combine the moonlit picnic with this one. The ocean has amazing powers and always incites romance!

Treat your best friend who is single to a Vday surprise- flowers, candy, presents- the whole 9 yards! Make them feel awesome and loved!


Treat YOURSELF to one! Buy yourself something to show YOU that you are the number one person you care about. Watch your favorite movie, order food from your favorite place, get a glass of champagne and toast yourself for being amazing and write yourself a heartfelt love letter. Seriously, this could be so therapeutic for you!


Go to a psychic and get a couples’ tarot reading! SO fun and SO very insightful! I recommend Ostara. They are on Main Street in Bethlehem and will take good care of you! Make an appointment ahead of time!


This will probably work best for ladies, but a sassy guy can get away with this too– wear a super sexy outfit under a regular outfit or a coat. When the time is right, BAM! Hotness! This is a fun, funny and cute way to show someone you want them.. Just don’t wrap yourself in cellophane or cover yourself in whipped cream or anything totally weird that Cosmo would advise you to do. Don’t be a weirdo!

We love ya Herb but seriously-- this is not cute and WHAT A MESS!

We love ya Herb but seriously– this is not cute and WHAT A MESS!

Do’s and don’ts for this veritable occasion:

You don’t like Valentines’ Day? Keep it to yourself or write a blog about it! No one wants to hear your ancient rant that the holiday was invented by Hallmark and that you are the perfect boy/ girlfriend all year long blah blah blah… go away!frabz-Im-not-mad-I-never-said-I-was-mad-What-makes-you-think-Im-mad-f601e0

Do NOT buy your significant other gifts that only YOU will appreciate. If you want to buy your girl some lingerie, you better think real hard about what she would like. Getting lingerie that is not flattering to your body type can be a total ruiner. I know from boratexperience.. and if you’re buying for a guy, at least get him something he is interested in- no weird sex toys that would require him to do something he isn’t comfortable with, (obviously this goes for everyone, but still) and try to avoid buying them a style of underwear they don’t even wear. A banana hammock can be funny but don’t like, wreck the dude and make him feel like an idiot. At least get him something awesome to make up for your extreme lack of sensitivity haha..

Don’t get some dumb Valentines’ Day pre-packaged cheap ass crap. One year I got something like this and it was ok, but I AllinoneVDay_rbye11_4giftsnipe_PFended up regifting some of it later because well, it was pretty meaningless. You’re too busy to properly shop for someone? Maybe you’re too busy for a relationship. Suck on THAT.

Don’t skimp on quality! Get something NICE. It’s better than a bunch of generic candy or drugstore perfume. One nice gift is way better than 10 cheap ones.102_2370

Don’t go to any prix fixe restaurants! What a waste. They shuffle you in and out like cattle, sit you 3 inches from 5 other couples, they offer the cheapest food for the highest price and are so slammed busy that you get no special attention. Yuck. If anyone is ruining Valentines’ Day, it’s the restaurant industry.

Don’t stalk anyone who has already told you they aren’t interested. Move on. Let’s not make people frightened ok? It’s a holiday! There are plenty of other things to do that don’t involve calling the police.restraining-order

Well, with all this great advice and plenty of time to plan, go on and get to it! Got anything to add? Leave it in our comments section!


5 Responses to Best dumbass ideas for Valentines Day

  1. indigoallen says:

    All good advise.
    By the way… I have that Herb Alpert album in my vinyl pile.

  2. winkpinup says:

    I have it too.. did you know it’s the most owned record album ever??? hahah

    • indigoallen says:

      Yeah but I have the 1st edition cover of the girl without the whipped cream added yet. šŸ™‚

  3. LehighDi says:

    No heart shaped jewelry!

  4. jason says:

    Great article! Hope I get a banana hammock. Ha ha. Serioilsly great job!

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